Find God nearby on Maps

I just couldn't resist. I loaded the Google Products page and at the top it asked 'What do you love?' with instructions to click the heart after I type it in. So I typed 'God' and had to laugh at the results. God loves to make me laugh and gives me things to giggle about all day long. Google uses what you type to do a search of different media, like maps, Youtube, blogs, calendar, etc. So here are some of the results: Find God nearby on Maps, Watch videos of God on Youtube, Plan your God events with Calendar, Search God blogs, Explore God in 3D, Translate 'God' into 57 languages (sadly there was a message 'No results were found. What if we told you we didn't find anything? Still friends? Try simpler terms.' Hmmm... God, how complex and yet how simple, truth there.), Call someone about God with Voice, Email someone about God, and my personal favorites See pictures of God on Image Search, Search God, on the move with Mobile, Alert me about God with Alerts, and Scour the Earth for God with Earth. The final item on the page was 'More coming soon'.


Of course He tied right in with what I was thinking about last night and this morning. He seems to often communicate with me while I sleep. I assume because there's less clutter to get in the way then. Those of you who know me, know I've been doing a complete bible in 90 days. I realize that it's more difficult to do in depth study then, but there's something nice about a quick overview. When I was in collage, many years ago, we were told to do an overview of a book before studying it. Today is day 60.


Perhaps a bit of a background before proceeding. I have a muscle movement disorder, sometimes they relax at inappropriate times, but more often they contract without my control. In fact, the more I try to control them then, the more they go berserk, so the trick is to relax, to give up. Which has become a bit of a motto for my life.  Almost 20 years ago, I started a business, which got busier and busier. We bought a house way out on the edge of life, so then we started really early in the morning commuting, my husband to his job, my kids to different schools and then me to errands and then my store. My husband, Nick was working a job then, and started coming at lunch to help me because the previously strong me, was struggling to do things. I went from dancing for hours most days to collapsing in a heap, crying because I just couldn't seem to do what I had previously done. Nick came in the afternoons, flexible hours was a new thing then. Doctors couldn't figure out exactly the problem. My cardiologist put a stent in, my pulmonologist said it wasn't my asthma, both pointing fingers at the other. Personally, I trust my pulmonologist more, she's really been an advocate for me, but points out that she can't make other doctors do their jobs. She finally did a test where she hooked me up to a bunch of gadgets while on a bike, and told me to go until I couldn't anymore, while cheerleaders around me encouraged me, so I did. They had to carry me out and asked why I rode so hard. I chuckle at that now. The results were "if I didn't know you, I would have looked at your test results and thought we had some super athlete." It wasn't my breathing systems, ball in the cardiologists court aaaaand he drops it! 


One day while leaving a restaurant, I had to go down two stairs, Nick was behind me and I stopped. He waited a moment then suggested we get going, but I couldn't move, I was just frozen there. The end result is that he had to carry me out and stuff me into my truck, I was rigid. In retrospect, many people say this, why did I just say 'huh' and shrug? Later it happened again. Then again, then more often, then daily, then constantly. The events weren't all the same, but basically I had lost control and I was tiring more and more easily. I continued to try to do all I had before, but couldn't, Nick and my kids stepping in more and more. I was having more and more angina (cardiologist continued to shrug), exhaustion and muscle control issues. I still tried to soldier on. I was using a walker, but by the time I got the heavy thing out and walked from handicapped into a store, I was too exhausted to go on so I would use their motorized scooter, but many times there were none, and I had no energy to get back out to my truck and get the walker back in, so I would just collapse to the floor and rest. 


I tried to or saw neurologists, often I would schedule an appointment which would be months away, but by the time the date came around, they no longer took my insurance. If I saw one, they wanted to do a bunch of tests, sometimes doing some, sometimes doing nothing. The end result is no one knows why I'm doing this and after a while it seems they can't handle that so they just do nothing. My PCP is the one who said that we need to treat you with something because you've been going downhill. Most of the other doctors felt it would muddy the test results. I think it was 2006 when I was told I could no longer work, by this time my husband had been laid off and decided to do the store full time. The last time I had worked, I ended up being taken to the hospital via ambulance, causing the store's only time ever of being closed during regular business hours. I was put on nitro, then later it was upped and that has helped with the angina. It's a muscle movement disorder, chorea (ironic since I was so upset I couldn't dance anymore), tonic-clonic seizures, all kinds of labels. 


But here's why, and I'm finally getting to my point. Many times in the old testament we read where God is trying to get people to notice and know Him. Many times we read of the Israelites being led back to Him by His discipline of the nation. With 20/20 hindsight, we can see the circle: *Israelites walk with God, Israelites move away from God, God punishes the nation (by going into captivity or whatever), Israelites return to God (go to *). This isn't exclusive to the Israelites of course, we just read about it in the OT. This is the circle I had done and he was trying to lead me back to Him. Romans 3:10-11 says “There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God." He seeks us, using events in our lives to try to get our attention. Joyce Meyer says that Satan yells and screams, God speaks quietly and lovingly. Amen. So with all the clutter in my life, I allowed it to drown out His voice.


This is a poem that He showed me that really speaks of what happened to me.

I NEEDED THE QUIET

I needed the quiet so He drew me aside.
Into the shadows where we could confide.
Away from the bustle where all the day long
I hurried and worried when active and strong.

I needed the quiet tho at first I rebelled
But gently, so gently, my cross He upheld
And whispered so sweetly of spiritual things
Tho weakened in body, my spirit took wings
To heights never dreamed of when active all day.
He loved me so greatly He drew me away.

I needed the quiet. No prison my bed,
But a beautiful valley of blessings instead.
A place to grow richer in Jesus to hide.
I needed the quiet so He drew me aside.

Alice Hansche Mortenson

From the book I Needed the Quiet © 1978 by Beacon Hill Press


My illness forced me to sit still and I began to hear Him calling me back. He led me to Dr J. Vernon McGee 5 Years Thru the Bible (click 'free downloads' then click on 'MP3 download of the 5-Year Series' on the left)and I began to listen. Dr McGee said reading the bible causes you to fall in love with Him, which in turn makes you want to read more, a wonderful circle. He has really made the bible real to me.


I've been walking closer and closer with Him, which isn't to say that I don't slip up, or stop listening to Him for a bit, but He is so patient and has so much mercy. He's been teaching me about His love, and giving me peace and joy like I have never had in my life. Much like the lesson with my muscles, the more I concede control, the more He gives me. Which isn't to say that everything is rosy and wonderful all the time.   Sometimes it takes every last bit of what I have to get through something; I have learned to trust Him and I'm still learning how to trust Him more and give everything over to Him, and I know that He is the One who carries me. I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency. (Philippians 4: 13) The weaker I get, the more He is able to do what needs to be done through me, because I really have to admit that I can't do anything myself . Many plans are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand. (Proverbs 19:21) For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. (Jeremiah 29:11) He has really made the bible real to me. He has given me a strong craving for His word and told me that time is short, there is much for me to learn. So I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. (Psalm 16:8) Because I have he has also show me how important a positive attitude is. He is teaching me about speaking what is to be as if it is. He constantly gives me things to laugh about, often as I'm crying about something else. I have learned first hand A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)